100WC week 44

The water felt cool on my skin as I swam though the beautiful blue water. All of my friends were around me joining in the midday swim. It was the hottest part of the day and I felt so relaxed, so at home. After 5 relaxing minutes of being in cool deep water, I decided to try to tell a joke to he rest of my friends. “Hey i’ve got a really good joke I said to my friends. But once I had told my joke they all just stared at me and then they all burst out laughing at me. “What’s so funny?” I asked.


5 Responses

  1. Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) at |

    Hello Ethan,

    As you described the scene in your story, I was easily able to imagine seals enjoying a swim in the sea on a hot day. I think you know the power words can have to create images in the minds of your readers. Well done.

    You seem to be developing good writing skills and have included speech. Including speech and the thoughts of characters can help readers better understand characters and the story in which they are part.

    Since you have good writing skills, I will suggest something about the use of speech. It can be a good idea to take a new line when someone speaks…
    “Hey, I’ve go a really good joke,” I said to my friends.

    With your creative ideas and growing skills as a writer, I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. Good writers should share their adventures.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  2. Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) at |

    Apologies for not noticing the typo “go” instead of “got” in my comment.

  3. estella2016 at |

    I really liked the way you didn’t have the laughing seal as the main character but other characters. Good job on getting on the showcase as well!

  4. Quinn D at |

    really good job it had show not tell😎😎😎
    good job Ethan
    from Quinn

  5. Finn Darlington at |

    Really great work Ethan. I liked how you put the picture at the bottom too and put lots of expression in.

    Great work as always


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